Graduation & A Long List of Thank Yous

I knew graduating would feel good, but I did not know it would feel this good! I may or may not have cried when I walked out of my last final and it took some effort to suppress the scream I wanted to let out. I DID IT! I am a college graduate! And I did it through a pregnancy and the first 9.5 months of my baby's life.

I thought being pregnant whilst going to school was hard, but boy, this semester was almost the end of me. I decided I'd take throwing up in/during class over trying to entertain a little one AND listen to lecture/take notes for class. Not to mention trying to study when your baby needs/demands your attention. I can understand why people would want to wait to have kids after they're finished with school, but at the same time it has made this accomplishment that much more rewarding! Seriously, there have been literal tears of joy.

Graduation day was great. I got to see my Athletic Training classmates one last time and hear about their great accomplishments. It made me a little sad to not be their equal but Becky brought Hayley around so I could see her before I walked I got a little teary eyed and remembered why I was there and it was all worth it. It felt so good to walk across that room and receive my diploma. Plus I got a trip to Disneyland! I can't wait. I told Daniel I'd graduate more often if that was the end result ha.

We went to dinner at Sonora Grill with my parents, sister, and Dan's parents. It was a great day and I am so glad it is all over and I never have to go back to school again! It still feels surreal at times, but that freedom sure does taste good. And I definitely won't miss all the anxiety and depression that I feel while in school. Hopefully now I will be able to manage it better and the worst of it is in the past. Finals week felt a little like my mission all over again and it was horrible. So wish me luck!

As always, what kind of person would I be if I didn't thank those who helped me get here?! I could never fully thank all the people who helped me raise Hayley the past 8 months. Hopefully I'll just be able to pay it forward one day. But here is shout out to those amazing babysitters who made it all possible: Alyssa- thank you for being so willing to work with my crazy Monday schedule and be there for me I think all but twice (amazing track record!), you were so reliable and that helped my stress level more than you'll ever know; Cassie- thank you for juggling your twins and my child at the same time, that has to take skills that you should definitely be able to list on your resume or deserve the title of "SuperMom"; Jenna- thank you for watching my baby while you grew your own, being pregnant and watching a baby could not have been easy and you were always so happy and smiley to do it, and as if that wasn't enough you'd take her when I had to go take tests as well, I am grateful for your willingness; Aunt Nikkole- on your days off you came and watched Hayley twice a week, you even drove up from Kaysville and we will never be able to repay you, I am forever grateful to know that you love Hayley as if she was your own. To everyone else who helped where they could when I asked: THANK YOU! We are so blessed to live in such a great place where I could ask neighbors and friends to take Hayley for a few hours and they would always be so willing and make it work out when it wasn't always convenient. I am getting a little teary eyed just thinking about all of you and the help we received.

To Becky, my Mother-in-Law, thank you for your help when you were able. Hayley is certainly spoiled by you and all the wonderful toys you provide and diapers and food you buy for her. We are so grateful for your support and love. I will always remember the night Daniel was at NCUR and you asked if you could take Hayley for a few hours so I could get stuff done. That helped more than you'll ever know and I love you and Paul so much for what may have seemed like a little thing to you.

To my dearest Mother and Father, it will never end with you. I will never be able to come anywhere near doing enough for both of you. I would NEVER have made it through these past 10 months without you and your love, support, help, sacrifice, etc. Thank you for letting Hayley have sleepovers and taking her when I was sick and when I needed to study or take a test and the list goes on. Thank you for showing me what it must have been like for me as your baby. I am so blessed to call you Mother and I love you forever and always for teaching me how to be one myself. You are the most amazing woman I know. And Dad, thanks for being the best Grandpa ever. Hayley is so lucky to be loved so much by her Grandpa.

To Daniel, thank you for tutoring me through my last semester of school and helping where you were able with your ever busy schedule. You amaze me with how much you juggle at one time- in school, church, and family life. I love you so much and am so glad we get to raise Hayley together.

Hayley: Nine Months

I have officially known Hayley outside of me for as long as I knew her inside of me. It's definitely a lot more fun on this end. ;)

She finally got a tooth! I felt it for the first time on March 21. It's the bottom, front, left tooth. We have officially experienced the unpleasantness of teething. She likes to stick her tongue out quite frequently and I think it's because she likes the feel of her tooth. She also just started scrunching her face and breathing heavily through her nose, man she keeps us laughing. I continually find her all over her crib when she wakes up for the day. Her Aunt Nikkole called her a tornado baby and I thought that was hilarious and very fitting. She rolls over on to her stomach at night and eventually falls asleep that way, she did that for the first time on April 5. She attended her first college class with me on March 21, which luckily was my easiest class and she behaved pretty well with the aid of my fabulous classmates, Shaleese and Chella. With the exception of being a little grumpy from her teeth popping through her gums she really is a happy little girl. I know I say that a lot but it's true! And she is super entertaining. Hayley's siblings have a lot to live up to, she set the bar high. She loves to be outside, which is good because now that the weather is nicer we started going on walks/jogs every day. I put away her 6 month clothes, and we got out her 9 month ones, even though they are a little big on her. She is still in size 2 diapers. She is getting really good at mashing food with her gums. I often give her little bites of what I'm eating. She still has no desire to crawl, she'll rock a little and get on to her knees but then just go to her stomach and roll over. There is nothing that she wants bad enough to try and figure out how to move, she just finds something already around her or rolls to get to something. She never sits still. She has her "hi/hey, dada, mama, nana" sounds down. Hayley is not a cuddler, but when she is REALLY tired she will put her head on my chest and sleep and boy do I cherish those moments! I love holding her and thinking about how much I love her and wish she'd always stay that close to my heart. I wonder how I could ever love her more than I do, but the next day comes and goes and somehow it happens.

Bike ride with Aunt Nikkole.

Who says girls can't wear camo? We love these jammies from Lindsay.

She eventually learned to like it, but still hasn't figured out how to jump - just swing, spin, and stand.

She makes this face all the time ha.

Hayley's first Easter. I love the basket I found for her.

Playing with Lily, she loves her frog.

Dropping Daddy off at the airport, he went to North Carolina for NCUR.

Great Grandpa Chris made this rocking horse.

Playing dressing up at Harper's. 

I love this smile! She tried to eat those drops on her bib and instead got one on the forehead.

I cannot wait for April to be over and to never have to go back to school again so that I can focus more on Hayley. I have been way more stressed than I like to be the past little while and started having panic attacks again. Just 18 more days and it'll hopefully get better. I love being able to play with her and go on walks/runs with her and do anything at anytime, but that has limitations and I hate that about being a student Mom. It'll be nice to have Daniel around a little more over the summer too. We miss him all the time. He probably gets sick of me always asking when he'll be home ha. But he makes us proud with how hard he works and how dedicated he is. He was at NCUR (National Conference of Undergraduate Research) in Asheville, North Carolina this past weekend presenting his research project on urinary biomarkers in the diagnosis of depression. Luckily, I had help from my parents and my in-laws with Hayley while I got some school work and errands done. It's nice to know that we're taken care of when he is away.
Side note: She had her 9 month check-up on April 12. She dropped a bit in length to the 25th percentile (27 inches). Stayed pretty much the same for weight, 24th (16.7 pounds), and head, 61st. As Dr. Bledsoe put it, "She's little." That's ok, I like having a mini-me. We got an x-ray done on her left foot because she has a little bit of a tibial torsion, which means when she stands she puts her pressure on the outside of her foot instead of the bottom of it, how we normally do. Dr. Bledsoe said it looks good to him but he'd get a second opinion from the radiologist. Let's hope we don't hear from him because that'll mean everything is normal.

Hayley: Eight Months

Another month old for this little lady. Is it just me, or does time go by so much faster when you have a baby?

Hayley has finally rolled from her back to her stomach! But still no crawling. She is the wiggliest little person ever, I swear, and so I guess it's ok she hasn't started to crawl cause when she does we are in big trouble I'm afraid. She does not sit still, which makes church and trying to do homework/study especially difficult. I am glad she has so much energy though. I have found her completely opposite from how I put her in her crib, (she has done a 180) with all her stuffed animals all over the place because she likes to play when she's supposed to be sleeping. She is quite the little babbler and if you aren't paying attention to her she'll make sure you do. She is a great sleeper still, she goes down around 8:30 and is up around 7:30. She's still in size 2 diapers and her 6 month clothes. She will sometimes wave, we've been working on that one. No teeth yet, I'm wondering if she has any ha. She loves drinking with a straw and won't really take a bottle anymore so I caved and bought her a straw sippy cup. She started eating puffs and the occasional little pieces of mine and Daniel's dinner, depending on what it is. She is really helpful when it comes to taking off and putting on clothes, she'll move her arms through her sleeves and try and pull her clothes over her head. Her carseat is still magical, heaven knows why, because it'll calm her down when she's unhappy. She gets complimented on her pretty blue eyes all the time.

Happy Valentine's Day from this little love bug.

Ready for the World Cup!

I made sure she wasn't in pain before I took this. She started with her head the other direction.

Those blue eyes just get me.

My little exercise buddy.

Last month I had a concussion so I didn't really add much about Motherhood, besides that it's hard being a student Mom, and it is! Last week on campus I saw a Mom wearing one child, and holding hands with another and I just wanted to tell her that she's amazing. I'm so lucky I haven't had to take Hayley to class and hope that I don't have to. I am also lucky that I can do homework at work because without those hours to myself in the morning I don't think I'd be passing my classes ha. Again, so grateful I only have to do this for about a month and a half longer. The end is near! I am thrilled I get to devote all my time and energy to Hayley and Dan after graduation. It will be glorious. I love being a Mom and I am so blessed to be one to such a sweet little girl.

Hayley: Seven Months

Hayley is showing more of her personality each month. It's fun to see her learn new things and see the world through her beautiful, blue eyes.

Hayley has learned a few new tricks: she can stand up by herself if she has something to hold on to or lean against or when her Daddy holds her feet, she can spit (not my favorite thing when I'm trying to feed her), she can drink with a straw, and she can clap (it's pretty adorable). She impresses me pretty often. She likes to babble whenever there is music playing, I like to think it's her attempt at singing along.  She will randomly just open and close her mouth and I haven't quite figured out why yet. She is still in size 2 diapers and her 6 month clothes are fitting a lot better. She is really good at going to sleep at night - all I have to do is put her in her crib, she'll put her wubbanub in and turn her head to the side, and drift into a slumber. She recently enjoys putting her blanket over her head and face too. Sometimes it hurts my Mama heart that she won't let me hold her while she sleeps anymore, so I just squish her and hold her as much as I can when she's awake. She does not like peas at all, I had to trick her to get her to eat the whole thing by giving her spoonfuls of other foods and then sneaking a pea spoonful in here and there. She had a pretty hilarious reaction to eating mashed potatoes, didn't seem to like those that much either. It's like she forgot how to roll over because she won't really do it anymore! I have no idea when she's ever going to crawl. She loves watching other kids run around and play, and she'll flail her arms and get all excited when she sees them. She takes really good, longer naps in the morning and then 2-3 more throughout the day depending on how long she can sleep for. She finally started going to sleep around 8:30! Woot! She started getting that baby whine and I guess I should count my blessings that we lasted this long without it. She likes to play peek-a-boo and be tossed in the air. She is ticklish around her thighs and armpits, and occasionally the lower back of her neck. She loves to be outside, so I can't wait 'til it gets a little warmer. Still no teeth and I don't even think she's started really teething yet. If she has, she has not made it known, which would be ok with me ha. She still loves to grab and touch people's faces. She really enjoys pulling off her socks and riding on her Daddy's shoulders. She has the cutest little laugh that I'd do anything to hear.

Lunch with her cousin Hadley before she left to Texas with Peter and Brittany.

How am I supposed to do homework with a little face like that just watching me?

I am so grateful this family of mine is forever. I was full of warm fuzzies as I walked through the Provo City Center Temple with Dan and Hayley.

Seriously, the cutest Jazz fan ever!

She loves drinking with a straw.

She looks like a toddler in this picture. And her crazy hairs are from her Aunt.

This past month Motherhood got a little harder with my return to school. I am beyond happy that I only have to do this for one semester. I am super amazed by women who do this for a lot longer with more kids. I had no idea how much those little naps helped because I am pretty tired all the time! I am very grateful for all those who help watch Hayley so that I can do this. I mean quite literally that I couldn't do this without them! And it helps to have an amazing little one, I am so lucky.