Dan and I recently moved, only two blocks so we're still in the same neighborhood/ward but we needed to because we're having a baby (in case you didn't already know). Our wonderful first apartment only had one bedroom, it was very large, but we need two with a little one on the way. And we have a dishwasher! Marriage sure helps you appreciate a lot of little things. I thought I would be more nostalgic moving out of our first place but I haven't looked back. It's nice to have some positive change.
I feel like that has been about the only positive change lately. I am overwhelmed to say the least. I found out this week that I have to get 200 hours of clinicals this semester instead of just 150. That's about 12 hours a week, a second part-time job. I already have a part-time job and have 16 credit hours of school. Plus being pregnant has slowed me down with throwing up in class and feeling nauseous and tired. All I want to do is put my feet up and eat ice cream or whatever I'm craving at the moment. I keep getting told that it'll get better but I'm still waiting for that day to come.
I can't think about the future too much or it stresses me out even more. I have to get 250 clinical hours over the summer, next fall, and next spring semester. I will have a newborn then and Dan is taking like 18 credits in the fall and who knows how much in the spring. How are we going to survive?! This is where I need those of you who have done all this and more to tell me that you have and how you did it! I need help, comfort, something.
Part of me wants to drop out and figure something else out because I feel like I'm knowingly tying my feet to a weight and jumping off the deep end and I have the ability to stop it but I also have had a goal for myself since I was young to get a Bachelor's degree. I don't really enjoy school anyway BUT I really want to be an Athletic Trainer. What to do?
At Stake Conference a week ago we sang Praise to the Man, and I got a little teary eyed singing "sacrifice brings forth the blessings of Heaven," and I'm ever realizing that that is the truth, the bottom line if you will. My Mom recently posted this quote on my wall on Facebook, "You will come to know that what appears today to be a sacrifice will prove instead to be the greatest investment that you will ever make." -Gordon B. Hinckley. I do want to be an athletic trainer, but I want to be a Mom even more. So I'm not sure what to do right now but I believe I will figure it out eventually. This whole pregnancy thing hasn't been easy, and being a Mom won't be either, but it will be worth it. That's on repeat in my mind: it will be worth it.
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